Project Updates :)

Just going a little off-track here! After a really hectic semester, found time to pull up my chair and type on Blogger again! Well, not being a big mouth here but would like share some good news with you all... :P

Our BE project, titled 'Honeydoop- a system for on demand virtual high interaction honeypots' has been going pretty good and has helped us bag an acceptance from an international IEEE conference! I had submitted a paper proposing the system and its basic overview to the conference and was pleasantly surprised on getting the acceptance letter some time back! Never really thought the idea could prove this cogent! Anyway here are the conference details :

Name : 7th IEEE International Conference for Internet Technology and Secured Transactions     (ICITST)-2012

Where: London, UK

When : Dec 10th to 13th.

Hope everything goes well, there! :)

One of my other papers 'VoIP Cell Phones: Security Concerns and Countermeasures' co-authored with my old 'friend and guide' Chinmay Khasnis (of www.chinusden.blogspot.in fame) too has been accepted for publication in an international journal based in France. Some field month for publications, eh?

Sorry for the side-track! Will be back with my usual self at the earliest! ;) 

Say no to holidays

A Holiday is something what every one craves for.No matter how much one loves his/her work, everyone feels a deep sense of gratitude for the fella who first thought of keeping Sunday as a holiday.Despite it just being a sort of mini-break in a week full of mad rush, the feeling that you get the night before is epic.Ah..I too experience a similar feeling. My idea of holiday, being a Kulkarni, is newspaper in the morning, nap (read good 4 hours of sleep) in the afternoon and some good family time(read watching TV) in the evening. That night, as I geared up for the upcoming day of respite, I had no clue whatsoever, the way the following day would unfold..

It was Sunday.It wasn't exactly a holiday as my college was working. Let me tell a you bit about it.Our college is a dear old thing that can't stand a sight without us for an instant. Moment its without its students is a moment wasted. This time, emotions running high like akin an India v/s Nepal football match, it just couldn't bear a day without us. Finally, it decided to open shop on Sunday afterall (Much to public rejoice)! Oh, I tell you! What affection! Anyway, where was I? Ah..Sunday morning. Despite all the affection, I  decided to skip it for a day. Surgeon's Knife, what? So there I was! Sunday morning, hot cup of tea with snail on the thorn and lark on the worm, or whatever hell that is. Everything seemed perfect. Or did it? As I picked up the newspaper, bang. First warning shot for the day-it was soaking wet.

'Whats wrong with this thing? Did newspaper guy take it to the bath with him?'
'Look outside. Its been pouring since last night.'
'Now how will I read it? Heck, this just isn't done!'
'Why don't you use your hair dryer if you're so desperate? At least you'll keep it functioning.It doesn't look that you've touched that thing in months.'
'Bah! Chuck it. I could do without this for a day' Could I?

Cursing rain and all the newspaper boys in the world, I made it back to my sanctuary-Facebook. Trust me, there's no place as lonely as your Facebook on Sunday. Everyone's out or doing something great. Checking your chats tabs every fifteen minutes on fb makes you think what non-pathetic people in this world are upto!    
Dejected, I switched to Cricket '07. At least it doesn't retort with 'Hey sorry gtg!' everytime you use it.
I was busy beating the hell out of Namibian cricket team when my mom called,

 'Saurabh, theres someone here to see you'
'Who?'
'Rajesh Uncle from the neighborhood!'

Now, let me give you a background here. Rajesh Uncle is perhaps the most serious-looking and sounding person on the planet. He's a sort of guy you expect to see on DD National, playing obsolete instruments or giving a talk on cow health-care.In short, not sort of a guy you'd like to see on a Sunday morning, see?

'Mom, I'm studying!'
'Wont work, we can hear Ritchie Benaud all the way down here..'

Yeesh..I braced myself for a platitudinous disaster.

'Good morning, Saurabh.'
'Hello uncle'
'Good morning, Saurabh.'
'Oh. Good morning!'
'Saurabh, I want to talk with you.' (What was he doing all along? :\)
'uh, huh'

'What are you organizing for Ganpati celebrations?'
'Um, dunno I havent thought about it.'
'Think.Its not too far away. Lets organize something exciting. I was thinking Bhajan singing competitions for kids of our society'
'Sure that'd be great'
'I know. I thinking of inviting my uncle over. He plays tanpura. People will enjoy it.'

Enjoy it? Yeah right? The chap would be asking for raspberry.

'I want you to anchor the event.'
'Really? Gee..I dunno..'
'No you will have to. No one else volunteered. Otherwise you'll have to cover the musical chair for grand parents.'
'Oh no, I'll do it, thanks!' Knowing my relationship with a couple of angry old men of my locality whose windows I'd broken, I decided to steer clear.

After like several millenia, going through the program list again and again, he was finally satisfied, and retired to private life. So far, my Sunday was a total flopper. Trying to make up for the bad start, I decided to spice up things a little. After cracking my brain for an hour, we decided to go for a movie. After all, what other thing might you do on a rainy day? Judging by my day so far, I decided to be extra careful and booked our tickets beforehand online.Presto! Tickets booked, air conditioned hall and blockbuster movie, sounds good eh? Oh I wish...

We reached the movie hall just on time. I had to treat my parents to a nice refreshing brisk-walk in rain owning to long parking queue. I was still kinda optimistic, but my parents were getting frustrated by the minute. After groping in dark for several minutes and stubbing a few dozen toes(thankfully not mine!) we found our seats.
I had hardly watched the mosquito repellent advert on the screen when a shrill voice rang out:

'Excuse me! You're seating on my seat!'
'Wha-?'
'Look mister..K12! My seat.'
'Listen ma'am, I've booked the very same.'
'Show me your ticket!' With an agility of a seasoned TTE she reached for my ticket.

'I'm sure there must some misunderstanding. I booked it online'
'Misunderstanding my foot! You seem to be one of that types who watch movies for free at others expense! I'm aware th-'
'Wait a minute ma'am, lets go outside in the light and check the tickets.'

I had a feeling that people around me were enjoying this exchange more than the title credits that were coming on.So after another game of blinds man's buff, we reached out.

'Show me ticket!'      Again? What was wrong with this woman?
'Wait a minute..your ticket shows Sept 17.That is tomorrow. This is still Sep 16.'
'What!!? Oh..I'm sooo sorrry! My friend booked our tickets you know. She's never good with compu-'

I didn't give two hoots to her friend. Angrily, I moved back to watch the film. After several bruises and a couple of oaths, back I was.

'Whats going on?'
'Shhh'
'Hey, how did he get young all of the sudden? He was old when I left? Flashback kya?'

Before I could get to the root of it, someone shouted from the back

'Oye late current! Zara pudhe baghu dya na!'

The film was comedy cum tragedy (so I thought) but it ended up being a suspense thriller.Not only I didn't know what might happen ahead, I had no clue what had happened earlier. After two hours in the AC like an Idiot, I had to make back home.

As I was preparing to sleep that night, getting ready for monday, I was sure this was a strong contender for the most boring Sunday ever! However, a flicker of thought crossed my mind- maybe not..perhaps this is what makes an ordinary Sunday a little less ordinary. With that in mind, I let myself adrift with sweet dreams of Principles of Compiler Design and Design and Analysis of Algorithms...

Of exams and tomatoes..

 Risk Monitoring Management and Mitigation (RMMI). This is it. The Big one. The one we've all been waiting for. No matter how your exams go, the very last question that you attempt somehow bags the award of being the best question ever! Yes, it even beats those which ask us explain types of marriages and families in HSS(They really did..way back in our second year)

Damn it! Risks? Hmmm..What sort of risks do you encounter when you build software? A tightwad client ? Stuff that can't be 'CTRL C+ CTRL V'ed ? Or some really outta the blue stuff like an inspired Rupee that which suddenly becomes bored of sky-diving and rises against Dollar like CSK's Murali Vijay? LOL..concentrate SRK, concentrate..

After several lines, a few cross-outs and scratching, my long thesis on Software Risks , mentoring, manipulating (and whatever hell that is) was finally deemed fit by the cynic in me. 10 Marks=3 pages was the mantra. I brainstormed my database and came up with good 3.5 lines. The principal arguments were then well supported by the rush of my flawless creativity. The paper had ended. The guy who invigilated us found a better task than twirling his beard and started collecting papers. Some people who sat like thinking philosophers most of the time suddenly found inspiration to put some ink on the answer sheet. Some Usain Bolts raced even faster. And some of us just waited for the magical moment to arrive. Yes. The long grueling exams are finally over.. :)

It's a sea of humanity as soon as we leave the hall. There's a general feeling of contentment, relief and sheer laziness. It's like we've completed a war campaign and not just paper-based tests. The emotions, no longer content with their current accommodation, burst out for some fresh air. Cries of jubilation, sighs of relief and even some oaths find their place under the sun. As Ravi Shastri might put it, "One gets a feeling" of excitement. Here's the scene:

-"Dude! What a paper man! Just Awesome! You saw the last one ? The same one came last time!! I'm so lucky I'd just mugged up the whole thing at the last minute!" ---Really? I didn't really care..


-"hell man..I screwed up my Q8b. ..they asked about 'Design Patterns' , I wrote about Design specifications..do you think they'll give me credit for that?"


-"I'm going to Goa tonight! We've booked th-"


-"Phoenix Maal? 231 number direct jaati hai.."

As I edged my way out of the crowd, I started to look around for my gang. I had no clue what I was gonna do. Maybe catch a movie or hang out somewhere? I spotted 'em leaning against the notice board.This is the bro-code of our group. All of us try to act real cool. Like none of the worldly happenings ever affect us. Our general demeanor is modeled around John Travolta and his 'Legends' from that movie of the eighties..(Whats its name, again?) Anyway,as I joined them, we began to make our plans :

S  : "So fellas! Waddup ? What're we doing to celebrate?"
F1:"Um..you guys go ahead, I just want to brush up my OOP for the entrance test of the boot camp to be held  tomorrow."
F2 :"Celebrate? Hah..The only way I'll celebrate is by spending tonight in that foul smelling sleeper bus. I'm going home tonight.."
S   :"No way! We're watching a movie. How bout MIB-3?"
F1 :"No aliens,man..they keep me awake at night."
F2 :"Aur waise bhi, I haven't seen the first two, whats the point of watching the third one just like that?"


F1 :"Say, why not go at some good eating joint?"
S   :"Little Italy!"
F2 :"No thanks..Keep your pasta for yourself, Signor..that muck doesn't go down my throat."
F1 :"Yeah na..also it's like 300 bucks for noodle-"
S   :"It's Spaghetti! Kuch to izzat rakh uski! "
F2 :"Whatever.How about Flags?"
F1 :"No way.I'm not coming that far.."
S   :"My driver will crib..not to mention the traffic."
F1:"How about some south Indian food? I've heard of a good one called So-"
S  :"You gonna eat dosa to celebrate? Wow.Just Wow.."
F2:"Why not spend a night in my hostel? We'll hang about here and maybe have a code marathon at midnight?"
F1:"Oye..we want to celebrate like humans do.Just to let you know."


S:"Okay fellas ..Look! They're distributing the copies of our college magazine!"

Freebies are always welcome.Despite the thing not being exactly unpublished works of Billy Shakespeare, all of us forgot about the argument and rushed toward it. The crowd found a better medium to direct their emotions and thronged the place. The scene wasn't unlike that of impoverished refugees imitating PT Usha and the Great Khali alike when presented with UN food packets. We somehow managed to penetrate and grabbed our copies.

F2 :"Are you really going to read this?" (flipping the pages)
F1 :"Maybe..the paper quality is good."
S   :"Hey what about the party? Where's the wolfpack heading to?"
F2 :"You know, there's is real cool place up in ko-"

this exciting input was interrupted by my mobile. Somehow, it always finds the most opportune time to get its point across.

S:"Hello?"
M :"Saurabh, get some cauliflower as you come home.We've got guests coming over tonight."
S  :"Yeesh! I might be late.I may go out somewhere.Why don't yo-"
M :" And get some tomatoes as well. Your grandma loves those."
S  :"Wait! I-"
M :"Quickly, Saurabh. They're coming at seven."
S  :"Wait! Hello? Hello?"

Oh man.I knew it was worthless even to put up a fight. Any sort of attempts from my side would dealt with firm defense akin to Rahul Dravid's innings when he likes the stadium and decides to hang about a little. Resigning myself to the fate, I left the discussion and started walking towards the exit.

some F :"Hey, where're you going? We've decided to visit Li-"

"to buy tomatoes...", I replied and trudged my way back to the car..

Wonder Down Under ?

Its been one hell of an 'Agnipath' series so far! With our team failing miserably with the bat, ball and excuses, its no wonder that everyone back home are calling for their heads. An average Indian has limited options (or shall we say, skillsets?). Either he can follow cricket zealously and swear on its stalwarts or start a riot over almost anything that he mildly disapproves. The current performance didn't help the former trait much. However, one fails to see the bright side of this thrashing. I say, this debacle has far more positives than one could've ever perceived! I tried explaining this to the kids in my locality yesterday, but the boorish folk failed to grasp the crust and I had to escape with a tear on my track pants and wounded vanity. Still, wanting to save the world from despair and opprobrious remarks over the weekend, I decided to skive off college for the day and work for the 'greater good'. So friends, Romans, and country-men lend me your ears! (Eyes I mean.. :P )

It may seem pretty pathetic at sight to see India shut shop within 3 odd days every test match, but the ulterior motive eludes us. With matches ending well before 5 days, Australian cricket board and the broadcasters lost several million dollars worth revenue. Indian team's financial condition too wasn't much salubrious since the England tour and as they say, 'If you can't go up, pull the pajamas of the fella who already is'. The Aussies somehow came to know of this through their sinister network of spies consisting of beach life guards and hotel bellboys, decided that enough was enough when they didn't enforce the follow on in the last test. But it was well after the men in blue had a good laugh about it! Result: Indians didn't earn much and Aussies couldn't earn much so a total 'fittoos' !

Australian media is perhaps the most critical media that follows cricket after our good old India TV. I remember, once an aussie newspaper printed a 5 lines long article on Australia's dismal performance at the World Cup '11 on page 13. That immense dressing-down and sound criticism left the poor players hanging their heads in shame. Indians loved that! They expected Ricky Ponting to be dropped and made to live as a fisherman in Tasmania. Too bad the team decided to let him have his last chance! Determined to teach them a lesson, India let Ricky run wild this series, hoping that he crumbles in Australia's next encounter with the mighty Bangladesh and forced to retire. Needless to say, this plan was well supported by Namibia, Ireland and Zimbabwe. India earned a lot of goodwill through this. And after all, as that baba who airs on 2:00 am on MTV says, 'We come to this life to collect as much as good will as we can'. Indian team, who follow him religiously, don't need much encouragement to follow the suit!

Australian hotel owners are wily foxes. They thought that they'd rent out rooms to our players at exorbitant prices and get away with it. After all, with full day matches and practice sessions, players would only turn in to sleep at night, right? But Indians are adept at striking a good deal everytime, and our players did not disappoint. Poor hotel staff were forced to work double shifts! What's more we even carried our coupons from Snapdeal that entitled us to have free Go-Karting sessions per every $500 spent on meals! Now isn't that amazing?! Aussies need to work a lot harder if they want to beat us at our own game. Last heard, they were trying to rope in Monisha Sarabhai (of Sarabhai v/s Sarabhai repute) as a coach to better their performance in this regard!

What's more, Indians squeezed in sight seeing, oratory practice, high jump practice at Perth ,holidaying and also lil bit of cricket on this grueling tour. If that's not multi tasking then RA- One should be given an oscar for the best film. So our team has not let us down in any way, but kept our Indian pride burning furiously! What's more, the series poured some cold water on the school kids wanting to see 'Agnipath' the movie who were wise enough to recognize the analogy. Much to the delight of their parents! So fellas, stop brooding and feel the thunder down under! Get out and enjoy the weekend!